THE REVIEW ACCORDING TO MIL

South Park Creators to be Killed by Mentally Ill Muslim Extremists

2010-04-22T09:54:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the redundant phrase "Mentally Ill Muslim Extremists" but I wanted to underscore their mental illness so everyone remembers that they are mentally ill. But apparently the latest episode of Southpark has gotten our national treasures Trey Parker and Matt Stone in hot water -- or maybe boiling oil -- with their latest episode that depicts Mohammed clad in a cuddly bear suit. It was a

JD Salinger: Dead

2010-01-28T10:37:00.001-08:00

I just heard that J.D. Salinger has passed away. Most famous for his truly great novel The Catcher in the Rye. And thus begins the onslaught of offers from the studios who've been dying to ruin it by bringing it to the big screen. My bet is the surviving family members can't wait to pimp this one out. Lovely....Catcher in the Rye - starring Zack Efron...directed by Brett Ratner.May God help

2009-05-30T14:19:00.000-07:00

Was he Secret Service? Was he FBI? Was he CIA? To be honest, I can't really remember, but he could snap your clavicle before you could say, "is that accent Irish or Scottish?" Liam Neeson plays Bryan Mills, a highly skilled, but now retired, "Preventer" as he refers to himself, in the fun-tastic action revenge flick Taken, recently released on Blu-Ray. Okay so it's a fairly well-worn plot:

Notorious - Blu Ray Review

2009-05-12T16:51:00.000-07:00

George Tillman, Jr's eschatological hip-hop odyssey “Notorious” is a chilling look at the very short rise and fall of the talented and rotund rapper Biggie Smalls. He was a shy, fat kid – and Christopher Wallace's single mother tried to keep him in school, out of the drug trade, out of the gangs, but the streets and lure of easy money were too strong for the smart and ambitious youngster.

Austraila - Blu-ray Review

2009-04-02T10:45:00.001-07:00

The fourth film from director Baz Luhrman is one of those "sweeping epics" set in, oddly enough, Australia, during World War II. The aptly titled "Australia" gives us a new perspective on the far-reaching effects of the second great war, this time from Down Under, a view that I appreciated, since not many films have tackled that period from that angle. Nicole Kidman plays Lady Sarah Ashley, an

The Kite Runner - Blu-Ray Review

2009-03-16T15:44:00.000-07:00

Director Marc Forster (Quantum of Solace, Finding Neverland) directed this highly acclaimed film based on the novel of the same name, written by Khaled Hosseini. Adapted for the screen by David Benioff -- who showed some previous chops in the adaptation realm when he turned Homer's "Iliad" into the blockbuster "Troy" -- this simple and deeply troublesome story follows two boys growing up in

Yentl Finally on DVD

2009-02-11T00:01:00.000-08:00

It's been 25 years since Barbra Streisand's celebrated feature directorial debut film first touched the big screen, and it's taken that long for the film to finally come to DVD. I was a confirmed movie geek by 1983, at the tender age of 16, but Yentl was pretty far down on my list of flicks to catch -- what with Return of the Jedi, The Right Stuff, and the Man with Two Brains all vying for a

DVD Review: Ghost Town

2008-12-25T23:58:00.000-08:00

Bertram Pincus is British dentist (oh, the irony) living in New York City. He's also an insufferable jerk who would be much happier if everyone just stopped talking to him. After a snag during a minor surgical procedure, Pincus dies for "a bit less" than 7 minutes, but is revived and sent home. Strange thing is he now has the ability, or rather the affliction, of being able to see dead people.

All Hear This!

2006-12-06T13:21:00.000-08:00

It was on a sunny day back in 1982 when I rode my ten-speed (this was before the days of the “Mountain Bike”) down to Edwards Cinema West in the lovely city of Westminster, California to watch some of my then already “old” heroes from Saturday Night Live and SCTV who were appearing in a film called “It Came From Hollywood.” It was a documentary of sorts, which chronicled some of the most

CASINO ROYALE

2006-11-15T23:33:00.000-08:00

Welly welly well. Who’d have thought it would take so long to breathe some life back into the James Bond series? And who’d have thought the director of such an enterprise would be Martin Campbell, a guy whose films I’ve rarely been mildly excited about? I tell you it’s happened. Surely for the last decade (some would say three) the series had been on life support, occasionally kicked in the pants

Lady in the Water

2006-07-29T10:09:00.000-07:00

Written and Directedby M. Night ShyamalanStarring Paul Giamatti, Bryce Dallas Howard,Bob Balaban, and M. Night ShyamalanWell, the M. Night Shyamalan backlash is now in full swing. It gained footing with The Village and now seems to be out of control. Can I tell you all something? Lady in the Water is not a bad movie. The plebs have really missed the boat here. Shyamalan's biggest mistake with

MANILOW music and passion

2006-05-09T18:54:00.000-07:00

I didn’t really warm up to Barry Manilow till about 5 years ago, sure I grew up in the 70s and his music, along with Neil Diamond and many others, served as a background score for my childhood, but it was always considered to be a bit on the cheesy side. It’s only now in my adult years that I can appreciate the masterful melodies and lyrics of both of these cats. I recently got a chance to view

And the loser is....

2006-03-08T21:29:00.002-08:00

For some reason known only in the darkest recesses of my mind, I was excited when El Bicho offered me the opportunity to cover the 2006 Razzie awards. The Razzies have been the anti-Oscars, celebrating the worst in cinema for the last 26 years. Now I have been known to have an affectation for bad movies now and then, but the folks at the Razzies really have taken it to the extreme. This year’s

2005-12-23T20:54:00.000-08:00

Quentin Tarantino PresentsHOSTELWritten and Directed by Eli RothStarring Jay Hernandez and Derek RichardsonWell, Eli Roth of Cabin Fever fame has certainly been touting this one as the second coming of the splatter film genre, leaning heavily on the torture angle. I can safely say it ain't all that. But it ain't all that bad either. The story centers around two Americans enjoying themselves

2005-12-21T22:35:00.001-08:00

Ron Howard's Cinderella Man now on DVD.Starring Russell Crowe and Rene ZellwegerWritten by Cliff Hollingsworth and Akiva GoldsmanDirected by Ron HowardI missed Cinderella Man when it hit theaters, as did most folks at the time. I'm not sure what it is about this film that doesn't quite jump out at audiences--it certainly was well produced, well acted, so what gives? Don't look to me for answers,

2005-04-29T14:12:00.000-07:00

Jiminy Glick in LalawoodRated R90 MinutesWritten by Martin Short, Paul Flaherty, Michael ShortDirected by Vadim JeanWorking from a 60-page outline and no script, Martin Short, Jan Hooks, John Michael Higgins, and a host of cameos team up with their improvisational expertise to bring us, well, an okay comedy. I do not watch TV with any regularity and know nothing about Martin Short’s alter ego,

Ong-Bak

2005-02-13T23:38:00.000-08:00

Written by Prachya Pinkaew and Panna RittikraiDirected By Prachya PinkaewRunning Time: 105 MinutesRated RHey, look, it's Mil's bimonthly review! Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyway, as I walked out of the Arclight with a good buddy of mine, a buddy with whom I spent many an evening in smoke-filled theaters in San Gabriel in the 80’s watching Jackie Chan, Chow Sing Chi, Chow Yun Fat, and other folks tear

2004-11-21T21:13:00.000-08:00

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou Directed By Wes Anderson Written by Wes Anderson and Noah Baumbach Starring Bill Murray, Willem Dafoe, Owen Wilson, Cate Blanchett, Angelica Huston, Jeff Goldblum Rating: A (yep, another "A," you have a problem with that?) Part Jacques Cousteau, part Johnny Quest, part Moby Dick, and all Wes Anderson, the Life Aquatic with Steve

2004-10-16T13:53:00.000-07:00

TEAM AMERICA WORLD POLICE Directed by Trey Parker Written by Trey Parker, Matt Stone, and Pam Brady Featuring their voices and the voice of LA Radio phenom Phil Hendrie Review by Mil Peliculas Rating: "A" When the highly trained, highly equipped, elite, special para-military unit TEAM AMERICA finds out that Islamic terrorists have suitcase bombs that they plan to use around the world, they

2004-07-09T02:28:00.000-07:00

ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDYWritten by Adam McKay and Will FerrellDirected by Adam McKayFolks, you know I've been gettin' lazy. A review here...a review there. But I must say I was inspired to run right home after this midnight screening at the Arclight in Hollywood (greatest theater in the whole wide world) and post my review of this one because it is nothing short of brilliant. Far

2004-07-08T00:30:00.000-07:00

FARENHEIT 9/11 Written and Directed by Michael Moore George Bush. Bumbling fool? Diabolical genius? Well, both if Michael Moore is to be believed. Moore’s latest film is a definite hit piece on the poor bastard. It’s hard to separate your politics from a review of this film, which explores mostly the negative aspects of George Bush’s presidency and the events leading up to the present Iraq

2004-06-23T19:23:00.000-07:00

I posted this a while back on my other blog, but I don't know if anyone saw it. So here it is again... MIL'S TOP TEN BONER MOMENTS OF CINEMA I was just thinking about some of the great movie moments from the past. Used to be that movies were made because someone thought they would make a great movie. Nowadays movies are made if the producers think they will make money. It's a different mindset

2004-06-18T23:15:00.001-07:00

CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK "Written" by Jim Wheat and Ken Wheat Directed by David Twohy Starring Vin Diesel, Thandie Newton, and the guy who looks a lot like Alex P. Keaton's Dad. I don't know why I even have to review a movie like The Chronicles of Riddick. This review is a week or so late--showing my disdain for this type of movie. Could you not tell the movie was a steaming turd by watching

2004-05-07T11:52:00.000-07:00

SEEING OTHER PEOPLE Written by Maya Forbes and Wally Wolodarsky Directed by Wally Wolodarsky Reviewed by Mil Peliculas Must have been nearly 10 years ago when I stumbled across a nifty little comedy in a far corner of a forgotten video store and happened to read the back of the box. It was a little-known low-budget comedy called “Cold Blooded” starring Jason Priestly as a

2004-04-17T12:19:00.000-07:00

Kill Bill Volume 2 Written and Directed by “Q” Reviewed by Mil Peliculas I love L.A. Where else can a schlub like me get to see “Kill Bill Volume 2” TWICE before it’s even been released. Okay, maybe New York, maybe, but it snows there and you have to be rich to live in the city, so screw that. So I caught “Kill Bill Volume 2” on Wednesday at the lovely Grove Theater in the Fairfax

2004-03-27T16:00:00.000-08:00

JERSEY GIRL (2004) Written and Directed by Kevin Smith Mil is not what you'd call an avid Kevin Smith fan, but I do think he's a talented guy, writes pretty good dialog, and definitely gives back to his fans. And I've spent way too much time in line at the Nuart in West L.A. waiting next to shining examples of his fan base to see midnight screenings of some of his films. I'm happy to say

2004-03-23T21:23:00.000-08:00

AILEEN: LIFE AND DEATH OF A SERIAL KILLER Directed by Nick Broomfield Lantern Lane Entertainment Running Time: 89 minutes You gotta love Nick Broomfield. Or you’ve got to at least respect his tireless efforts to sniff out any interesting bit of information he can find about the subjects of his documentaries. I prefer to think of him less as a documentary filmmaker and more of a

2004-03-20T00:04:00.000-08:00

THE PIANIST (2002) Starring Adrien Brody Directed by Roman Polanski Script adapted from Wladislaw Szpilman's Book by Ronald Harwood Another World War II movie to remind us of the atrocities committed against the Jews by the Nazis? Yep, and it's DAMN GOOD! Director Roman Polanski has finally found his way back onto the main highway after being lost for so many years, he must have pulled

2004-03-10T19:43:00.000-08:00

Somehow I let the girlfriend talk me into going to see a midnight screening of Mallrats at the Nuart theater in L.A. I'm not a huge fan of Kevin Smith, he's talented, and he seems like a nice guy, but I don't think he'll ever make anything better than Clerks, which was pretty damned funny. This is not really a review of Mallrats, although the film was slightly more enjoyable than it was the

2004-03-09T20:02:00.000-08:00

THIRTEEN (2003) Written by Catherine Hardwicke and Nikki Reed Directed by Catherine Hardwicke Starring Holly Hunter, Evan Rachel Wood, Nikki Reed Review by Mil Peliculas I just did something I normally don't do. I looked at some reviews on IMDB before I sat down to review this one. Who knew there were so many masters of filmmaking reading and posting reviews there? I'm a snob, but I don't

2004-03-08T17:42:00.000-08:00

KILL BILL-The Trailer God, you know I am not a religious man, but I say this to you now: my life of sin is over. Never again will I have impure thoughts about animals. I'll pay back all that money I embezzled from my company. I'll give that retarded kid the right amount of change from now on...I'll even stop taking your name in vain...if you'll just make sure I live to see KILL BILL. I

2004-03-07T15:28:00.000-08:00

OLD SCHOOL Directed by Todd Phillips Written by Scot Armstrong, Court Crandall, Todd Phillips Review by Mil Peliculas Uh...I WAS a bit excited when I found out that Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson were set to star in the new remake of Starsky and Hutch, backed up by Snoop Dogg as Huggy Bear. Well, I have fallen into the "post credit blues." That's a phenomenon that occurs with us movie geeks

2004-03-06T11:43:00.000-08:00

CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE Starring...bla bla bla...etc....etc... Directed By McG. (no relation to the new McGriddle from McDonald's) "Review" by Mil Peliculas What can you say about this kind of movie? Apparently there's a big split. Half of you dig it, half of you hate it. For those of you who hated this movie, what the hell is your problem? It's just kidding. Full Throttle is

2004-01-13T21:57:00.000-08:00

KITCHEN STORIES Written by Bent Hamer and Jorgen Bergmark Directed by Bent Hamer Reviewed by Mil Peliculas Did you know that the Swedes did extensive research in the 1950s on how the average Swedish housewife used her kitchen? Yeah, me neither. They collected data in order to create a more efficient kitchen and, thus, a more efficient society. This is the starting point that Norwegian

2003-12-09T12:07:00.000-08:00

TOKYO GODFATHERS Directed by Satoshi Kon Screenplay by Keiko Nobumoto and Satoshi Kon Samuel Goldwyn Films Starring the voices of: Toru Emori, Yoshiaki Umegaki, and Aya Okamoto. Reviewed by Mil Peliculas I don’t usually go out of my way to see Japanese Animated films. There’s a subset of people out there who hate Anime films because A) They’ve haven’t seen one, or B) The HAVE seen one.

2003-11-30T16:09:00.000-08:00

Ahoy, snobfans! You may have noticed that I, Mil Peliculas, have not posted many reviews lately. Truth is, I've seen plenty of films, but haven't bothered to sit down to write any thoughtful comments about them. Let me do a wrap-up of my viewings of late... Master and Commander - damn good, will be surprised if it's not nominated for Best Picture. Looney Tunes Movie - sucked, but didn't suck

2003-11-20T15:16:00.000-08:00

21 GRAMS Directed by Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu Written by Guillermo Arriaga Running Time 125 Minutes Rated R Review by Mil Peliculas Alejandro Inarritu is fast becoming the king of non-linear car accident movies. I don't mean that as a jab. Innaritu's new film, 21 Grams is sort of an English-speaking companion piece for his previous film Amores Perros, which was made in Mexico a few

2003-11-01T09:24:00.000-08:00

SCARY MOVIE 3 Directed by David Zucker Written by Craig Mazin and Pat Proft Based on characters stolen from other movies by Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Buddy Johnson, Phil Beauman, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer Review by Mil Peliculas This last credit amazed me. These guys have good agents. Based on characters created by these guys (I added the stolen part). But it's true. How can

2003-09-27T13:55:00.000-07:00

THE COMPANY Written by Neve Campbell and Barbara Turner Directed by Robert Altman Reviewed by Mil Peliculas I remember coming out of a movie theater about a decade ago thinking, man, Robert Altman is still able to get it done. The movie was The Player and Altman was already approaching 70. I didn’t think I’d say the same thing 10 years later, but I still say it now. The Company is Altman’

2003-09-18T00:16:00.000-07:00

WONDERLAND Written by James Cox & Captain Mauzner, Todd Samovitz & D. Loriston Scott Directed by James Cox Starring Val Kilmer, Lisa Kudrow, Josh Lucas, Dylan McDermott, Ted Levine, Kate Bosworth Reviewed by Mil Peliculas Truth is stranger than fiction--well, normally it is, anyway. A movie about a bunch of drugged-out hippies who rob a rich and well-known Hollywood nightclub owner, only

2003-08-30T12:00:00.000-07:00

THE SECRET LIVES OF DENTISTS Directed by Alan Rudolph Written by Craig Lucas and Jane Smiley Starring Campbell Scott, Robin Tunney, Denis Leary Review by Mil Peliculas Well, finally a non-pretentious, interesting, mature story from Alan Rudolph. This guy has been boring me for years, he rightly should be a member of the Bland Pack, but with his latest Secret Lives of Dentists, Rudolph as

2003-08-16T16:46:00.000-07:00

I CAPTURE THE CASTLE Screenplay by Heidi Thomas based on the book by Dodie Smith Directed by Tim Fywell Reviewed by Mil Peliculas A good film should set the mind to working. There’s nothing worse than forgetting an entire movie by the time you reach the lobby. For those of you, men or women, who love, have loved, or will love—this film will have something to say to you. The story

2003-08-05T11:05:00.000-07:00

SEABICUIT Written and Directed by Gary Ross Based on the book by Laura Hillenbrand Reviewed By Mil Peliculas There’s no other way to say it: Seabiscuit is just a lovely movie. Flat out. It reminds me of what Hollywood does right once in a while. It’s the story of the famous racehorse Seabiscuit, who was a scrappy little guy with a bad attitude descended from famous racing lineage, but

2003-07-02T22:55:00.000-07:00

TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES Starring Arnie, Claire Danes, Nick Stahl Written by John D. Brancato, Michael Ferris, Tedi Sarafian Directed by Jonathan Mostow. Reviewed by Mil Peliculas Before I start trashing this movie, let me tell you that I ENJOYED IT. Okay? I did. I thought it was a lot of fun. But a funny thing happend on the way to the lobby, I saw the movie with Bolsa De

2003-06-28T14:34:00.000-07:00

THE GREAT RAID Directed by John Dahl Written by Hossein Amini and Carlo Bernard Starring Joseph Fiennes, Benjamin Bratt, Connie Nielsen Review by Mil Peliculas Who is John Dahl? If you did not get that reference please refer to Atlas Shrugged. Buenas Tardes! Well, your pal Mil managed to get into a screening of the new John Dahl picture, the unfortunately titled The Great Raid. Frankly

2003-05-25T02:53:00.000-07:00

BRUCE ALMIGHTY Written by Steve Koren, Mark O'keefe, Steve Oedekirk Directed by Tom Shadyac Reviewed by Mil Peliculas Bruce Allrighty! Can you believe I stooped to that goofy “play on words” review title that often plagues those other movie reviewers? What is happening to me? Ah, screw it. The important thing is, that funny S.O.B. seems to have done it again. My jaw was sore from

2003-05-23T01:11:00.000-07:00

THE MATRIX: RELOADED Written and Directed by Andy and Larry Wachowski Starring Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne Carrie Anne Moss, and best of all MONICA BELLUCCI. Reviewed by Mil Peliculas I wanted to wait until I’d seen Matrix: Reloaded again before I reviewed it, but I don’t know when that will be; besides, there’s others I want to see once before I see that one twice. I saw Reloaded last

2003-05-12T23:19:00.000-07:00

CONFIDENCE Written by Doug Jung Directed by James Foley Reviewed by Mil Peliculas Some movies are just cool. And some movies constantly have to tell you they are trying to be cool. And, while not completely blowing it, Confidence falls into the second category. Confidence is one of those “Con” movies where all the street-smart guys know all the angles and are way smarter than everyone

2003-05-08T01:35:00.000-07:00

MIL AND HIS IDOL IN NEW YORK CITY

2003-04-30T00:16:00.000-07:00

JAPON Written and Directed by Carlos Reygadas Starring Alejandro Ferretis, Magdalena Flores Reviewed by Mil Peliculas There's a small spoiler in here, so back off if you care. What the hell. I mean WHAT THE HELL? This one came right out of left field, by way of under a rock. Writer/Director Carlos Reygadas may be in need of some serious couch time. Let me lay it out for you. A

Bullet Proof Monk

2003-04-20T03:29:00.000-07:00

BULLET PROOF MONKDirected by Paul HunterWritten by Ethan Reiff & Cyrus VorisReviewed by Mil PeliculasJust when you think Hollywood may have figured out how to adapt comic books once and for all, here comes Bulletproof Monk to remind you that the ball is still slippery, John Woo and Terence Chang have definitely dropped this one. Forget the “script doctor,” call the “script coroner.”Seann William

2003-04-18T00:39:00.000-07:00

ANGER MANAGEMENT Directed by Peter Segal Written by David Dorfman Starring Adam Sandler, Jack Nicholson, Marissa Tomei Review by Mil Peliculas All right. I’m getting a little pissed here. What is up with all the mediocre movies coming out lately? Fine, Oscar time has passed; the studios shot their wad a couple months ago. But why make something like Anger Management? It’s just so OKAY.

2003-04-13T13:50:00.000-07:00

PHONE BOOTH Written by Larry Cohen Directed by Joel Schumacher Starring Colin Farrell, Kiefer Sutherland, Forest Whitaker Reviewed by Mil Peliculas What do you get when you add the director of the worst Batman movies with the creator of the It’s Alive baby movies? Why, you get Phone Booth. Strange combination indeed, but in this case, it seems to work okay. I say, “okay.” These are the

2003-04-10T01:17:00.000-07:00

THE CORE Written by Cooper Layne and John Rogers Directed by John Amiel Reviewed by Mil Peliculas Well, one of the first big action flicks to hit theaters is this extremely okay effort from John Amiel. I didn't quite hate it, but I found it difficult to really like. Amiel seems to be a good candidate for the Bland Pack. His last film was Entrapment, which I found to be a real snooze, and

2003-04-01T01:42:00.000-08:00

IRREVERSIBLE Written and Directed by Gaspar Noe Starring Monica Bellucci Review by Mil Peliculas I'm not sure if we need to have a trilogy of backward storytelling films, so I encourage filmmakers to quit while they are ahead. Adding Irreversible to Memento, that's 2 for 2. Some might include Run Lola Run, but that one wasn't really backwards. Maybe we could call them all the "Playing with

2003-03-26T02:54:00.000-08:00

BIKER BOYZ Directed by Reggie Rock Bythewood Written by Reggie Rock Bythewood and Craig Fernandez Review by Mil Peliculas Burn rubber, not your soul… It's deep, contemplative sayings like this that elevate this magnificent film from the trite piece of hip-hop piston-pumping fluff promised by the trailer. Just kidding, it is hip-hop piston-pumping fluff. At times, goofy, at times kinda

2003-03-22T00:19:00.000-08:00

NARC(2002) Written and Directed by Joe Carnahan Despite the harsh viewing conditions under which I was forced to watch NARC, I still came away thinking I had seen an exceptional, hardcore police drama. Back up a minute, I saw the film in Long Beach, I won't say the name of the "theater" but it's on PCH. Anyway, the sound was a bit muffled--I thought about asking the manager if any pillows